I Had A Fatty Moment

I gave in to temptation. I had a cheeseburger. I used to eat them all the time. Now, it’s a rarity. Anywho, I totally have PMS and was all "FEED ME SEYMORE! FEED ME!" Ok fine! I had tater tots too. As soon as I ate it, I felt relief. That craving had lingered like [...]

Read Full Post »

This Crossword Puzzle Is An Asshole

I kid you not, this was the Q & A on my sister’s crossword puzzle.

Read Full Post »

I was such a lil turd

To my older sister. I’m sorry S and I called you a big, fat buffalo. You were neither big, nor fat, nor a buffalo. I’d love for you to, once again, call me a skinny string bean. To my dad: I’m sorry that when I was like 8 years-old I put on all the play [...]

Read Full Post »

oh. my. gawd.

Somebody pissed off the make-up artist, the costume director, and the photographer. I’m embarrassed for the platinum blondes, but I’m mostly embarassed for the pink poofs I’ve labeled duck-face-3-chins and her offspring look-at-my-squishy-face. If you want to prance around and have your picture taken, in what has to be the worst costume choice for you and [...]

Read Full Post »